Following a chain of threads got me thinking...

Jill at Keyboard Revolutionary posted links to a chain of posts and threads inspired by AtYourCervix. The discussion started around the film The Business of Being Born when someone, predictably, stated that some women are being selfish when worrying about their experience during childbirth. Her contention was the the most important thing is a healthy baby and the original commenter was NOT saying that the experience isn't important, just that she felt some people got carried away with it. Reading Jill's response got me thinking, though. Generally, I agree with her pov, except I would take it even further. It IS possible (and exceedingly relevant) for women to have a safe birth AND a good experience. The two things do NOT need to be mutually exclusive, regardless of the situation. Even if she needs interventions, they can be done in a compassionate, inclusive way that doesn't alienate her or further terrify her. There is NO good reason why every effort shouldn't be made to protect the experience, imo, and here's why: When a baby is born, so is a mother and subsequently a family. It's a thought I touched on in my last post. One of the people Jill links to speaks about the fact that the experience of the birth, good or bad, will be carried with that woman to her grave. It goes even further, it will be shared with her children, her friends and random people who ask or she chooses to relate the experience to. Her perceptions of that reality will shape the perceptions, even if just in subtle ways, of everyone who hears her tale. More importantly, though, how her birth was experienced has a DIRECT affect on her perception of herself as a mother. When we harm women during their birth experience, facilitate trauma or invalidate her NEED for the "experience" we are affecting society at large, one birth at a time. It's NOT a good affect!

So I would take the sentiment further and argue that the experience is AS important as the birth of a healthy, thriving baby. I feel that the obstetrical community at large needs to get away from the "in this moment" mentality. The birth of a human being has consequences that FAR exceed the delivery room. Obviously, in the moment, the thing at the forefront of everyone's mind (including the "selfish" mother) is the safety and well-being of the baby. In fact, the vast majority of women who choose natural birth do so because they understand how important it is to the SAFETY of her baby and herself. The fact that even needs to be said is a testament how far we've come from even basic RESPECT of mothers.

I do not think that a woman who is interested in protecting herself as well as her baby is foolish, naive OR selfish. She is, rather, wise and thinking ahead, beyond the moment. Protecting her emotional and mental health is equally important to her physical well-being and has enormous impact on the emotional and mental health and safety of her children as well. This is to say nothing at all about the enormous benefit to the baby's physical health. The beautiful thing about birth as nature intends it is that it protects the safety and well being of the mother/child unit from conception and beyond, into the many years they will spend nurturing and teaching each other. To suggest that protecting the experience is selfish, foolish or naive is at best, naivety expressed to a "T" and at worst, derisive, arrogant rhetoric meant to skirt the issues at hand. It's an EXCUSE that has no basis in reality whatsoever.

Just saying.